Sensory difficulties can result in anxiety, frustration and anger which all contribute to meltdowns, defiance, and stubborn behavior. When a child is in a constant state of stress, learning is difficult. For example, imagine trying to learn Japanese while under significant stress. Strategies can be employed to help reduce stress in the child’s life, gain self-control and avoid destructive behavior.  A list of 12 strategies below can be utilized toward this end.  The more these strategies can be used simultaneously and consistently, the greater the chance of success.  However, what works for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another, and not all strategies will work for all children.  In respect to this, the strategies are provided as ideas and not blanket solutions.

1.       Use a Nurturing Parenting Style.  Children best learn self-regulation by imitating the primary role models in their lives, typically their parents (Brown-Braun Betsy, 2013). Therefore, when sensory children spin out-of-control, it is important for a child to feel loved and emotionally connected with their primary caregiver as the child will look to a trusted adult for help. Psychologist Dr.  Gary Chapman delineates in his book, The Five Love Languages of Children, how children with varied personalities need to be loved differently, and finding their “love language” can help resolve conflict and stress.  When opposite parenting approaches are employed with frustration, anger and yelling, this reactive conduct may serve to escalate the child’s stress and behavior. Unless the parenting style is addressed, these children may remain in a state of hyperarousal interfering with attempts to regulate the child. Parenting style is impacted by the parent’s childhood experiences, parent and child temperaments, and the stressors in both the child and parent’s life.  Some resources to help are the books Parenting from the Inside Out, by Daniel Siegel and Parents, Kids and Power Struggles by Mary Kurcinka Sheedy.  Also, never hesitate to seek professional help from a mental health counselor.  

2.       Communicate Effectively.  When the child becomes agitated or loses control, parents need to drop their voice to a calmer, quieter tone.  Get down on your child’s level when communicating and look them in the eye, speaking in a friendly, clear, slow tone of voice.  Communicate in as few words as possible, as a lot of language will overwhelm the child.  When speaking to the child, use validation so the child feels understood.  Validation doesn’t mean that a parent agrees with the behavior or feelings the child has, but that the parent understands the feelings.  An example of validation would be: “I understand why you would be angry that you couldn’t get your shoes on.”   

3.       Use Calming Activities.  Use calming activities throughout the day.  These can be any combination of deep-breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, or sensory activities.

4.       Prepare a Calming Retreat.  Provide a sensory retreat for the child when she gets overwhelmed, e.g., a box with a top or a tent.  There are multiple options for creating a sensory retreat.  Occupational therapist Angie Voss has a website replete with ideas for sensory retreats. You can find it here: http://asensorylife.com/sensory-retreats.html.

5.       Teach the child to label and express feelings.  Children with SPD can be delayed in understanding and expressing their emotions. A good strategy for young children is to teach them to start with an “I feel” message.  Start with an “I feel” first and then add in a description of the feeling such as “I feel angry.”  Lastly, add in why such as “I feel angry because you will not share your bike.” Praise your child when they express difficult emotions in appropriate ways.  Also, playing emotion charades is a fun way for children to learn feelings. Create an appealing container (decorated box or cool hat) and put various emotions on separate pieces of paper. Have your child pick an emotion and act it out and have the rest of the family members guess what it is!

6.       Teach problem-solving skills. Problem-solving skills can be taught by utilizing a five-step process. For very young children, parents may have to verbalize the steps and provide solutions each time.  Older children can be taught the format and then cued for each step, if necessary.

a.       Describe the problem (parents use validation if describing the problem)

b.      Think of possible solutions

c.       Evaluate all the solutions and select the best one

d.      Implement the solution

e.      Modify the solution as necessary

7.       Provide surrogate executive functioning.  Sensory children may require an adult to provide surrogate executive functioning and assistance in any weak processing areas.  For example, many children with sensory modulation disorder who are under-responsive the majority of the time have troubling navigating through transitions and may need a parent to guide and pilot them through the process.  Other children with dyspraxia (a motor planning disorder), often have trouble remembering and processing all the steps of a task.  Parents can help by breaking the task down into individual steps.  By providing the scaffolding these children need, it averts the frustration and anxiety that can lead to challenging behavior.      

8.       Teach Self-Awareness. Older children can be taught self-awareness of escalating stress, anxiety, and over-arousal. Programs such as The Zones of Regulation: A Curriculum Designed to Foster Self-Regulation and Emotional Control and How Does Your Engine Run, The Alert Program are designed to improve awareness of self-regulation and to guide children to recognize hypersensitivities affecting them and modify their arousal levels.

9.       Use Transition strategies.  In order to move smoothly from one state to another, the neurological system must be balanced. In the sensory child, missing sensory information creates an imbalance in the nervous system that affects one or all domains and can result in transition difficulties.  Here are some tips to help the sensory child through transitions:

a.       Start auditory warnings 20-30 minutes out from the impending transition

b.      Use a visual timer (a Time Timer works well) and set it 10 minutes prior to the transition so the child can have a concrete representation of time.

c.       Use visual schedules and go over each day’s plan with the child.

d.      Use a soothing tone when speaking to your child and remain calm.

e.      Use validation “I understand why you would be sad to leave….”

f.         Use lots of empathy and a nurturing approach when dealing with the child.

g.      Use transitional activities (games, puzzles, etc.) to draw your child into the car or out of a place.

10.   Use Parenting Strategies.  Parents can help to reduce the accumulation of sensory input by doing the following:

a.       Keep lights and noise to a minimum. 

b.      Schedule calming breaks and quiet time throughout the day and don’t wait until the child is overwhelmed. 

c.       Make sure to keep your child on a consistent eating and sleeping schedule in order to prevent dysregulation that can occur if a child is hungry, thirsty, or tired.

d.      Use a good limit setting system.  Try “Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child” by Dr. Robert McKenzie.  Limit setting is important as eventually the child will learn the messages by repetition and abide by the rules. For limit setting to be successful, the system must be utilized consistently. 

e.      Provide choices and avoid power struggles when possible.  

11.   Nutrition. Current research has confirmed that allergies and sensitivity to food and chemicals can affect any system of the body in susceptible individuals, including the brain.  Adverse reactions can include fatigue, low processing speed, irritability, agitation, aggressive behavior, nervousness, anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, and learning disabilities (Holford, Patrick). This is often an overlooked contributor to dysregulation in sensory children.  Therefore, it is advisable to discuss testing for allergies/intolerances with your child’s doctor.  In addition, internal gut stress, lack of exercise, and poor diet can lead to neurotransmitter (chemical) imbalances within the brain resulting in medical conditions that negatively impact regulation (Ratey, John 2008).  Therefore, in order to regulate neurotransmitters, everyone needs a healthy diet replete with fresh vegetables, fruit, and protein, which is easier said than done in sensory children. If your child is a picky eater, consult with your doctor about what supplementation may be needed.  Lastly, exercising aerobically at least 30 minutes per day can make a significant difference (Ratey, John 2008).     

12.   Therapy.  Therapy is also important for children to integrate their brain, a process of the lower brain.  The lower brain must be integrated before the higher brain processes can operate efficiently and effectively.  In addition, any internal stress such as food/chemical intolerance or allergies, gut issues, lack of essential fatty acids or vitamins/minerals must be addressed for therapy to be the most effective.                                    

 1.       Brown-Braun, Betsy. “Circle the Wagons: How Children Learn to Express Empathy.”  Huffington Post. May 3, 2013. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/betsy-brown/how-children-learn-empathy_b_3175943.html

2.       Holford, Patrick. “Brain Allergies: How Sensitivities to Food and Other Substances Can Effect the Mind.”  Safe Harbor. Accessed June 28, 2016. http://www.alternativementalhealth.com

3.       Ratey, John. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008.

4.       Ratey, John. Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008.